Released hostage Ilana Gritzewsky shared on Thursday details of her ongoing mental anguish and suffering following her abduction to Gaza and her ongoing ordeal trying to see her boyfriend Matan Zangauker returned from captivity.
While Gritzewsky was released after 55 days in captivity in the first hostage-ceasefire deal in November 2023, her partner Matan has remained captive in Gaza for over a year. Her comments came after she revealed to the New York Times details of the abuse she suffered at the hands of Hamas – including sexual assault, medical neglect, and threats of forced marriage.
"I went through an experience that's impossible to imagine. I was kidnapped from my home, abused, hurt, and left alone – isolated and helpless. I had to fight every moment to survive and to not lose hope," she shared.
“Fifteen months ago, I returned from captivity in Gaza — but I am still not free. My body is here, but my heart and mind remain there: with Matan, with my friends, with all the hostages still held in darkness,” Gritzewsky said. “Since the moment I was released, I haven’t had a single moment of peace. I live with the question: why am I here, and they are not?”
Abuse at the hands of Hamas terrorists
Addressing the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of Hamas terrorists, the 31-year-old noted that type of abuse was not exclusively perpetrated against female hostages.
“I know that sexual abuse doesn’t only happen to women — it also happens to the men still in captivity. And as I promised those I left behind in the tunnels, I will raise my voice as much as I can to bring them home, and to empower other women to raise theirs. Only when they are all freed will I feel free,” she asserted.
A male survivor of the Nova Music Festival massacre in July recounted to Israel’s channel 12 that he was raped by invading terrorists during the attack.
"It’s incredibly hard to begin healing when the person I was meant to build my life with is still in captivity. Every time I open the fridge, I think: why do I have the right to this and they don’t? Why can I hug my mother and they cannot? Why can I eat while they can’t?" Gritzewsky opened up. "I am here to cry out for those who cannot speak, for those who depend on us — those of us on the outside — to save them. My experience is my pain. I never liked being in front of people and sharing it. But I don’t have that privilege. I cannot stay silent while others continue to suffer.
“This is not a political issue or a military strategy — it is a moral duty. Only a deal will bring them home, the living and the dead. I know Matan is alive. I saw him in a video: thin, terrified, his eyes begging for help. It shattered me — but it also gave me hope. He is there. And I will not stop until he returns. We must not wait. If we wait, there will be no one left to bring back.”
