In the whirlwind of life, there’s something profoundly transformative about finding someone to learn with. I’m talking about those rare connections where you really bond with another person, and no matter what educational level you or they are on, knowledge flows both ways. This type of partnership in learning is one where growth happens in unexpected bursts and the ancient wisdom you study together suddenly feels as necessary as your morning coffee – a system where study can lead to a real connection.
My own Jewish journey began when I was exposed to Jewish wisdom via Aish, a global Jewish educational institution dedicated to spreading Jewish wisdom to primarily unengaged Jews.
I then continued to grow with Partners in Torah, a collaborative learning program that aims to enrich one’s understanding of Jewish culture, history, and traditions at their own pace and on their own schedule but with a long-term study partner with whom I, like many other participants, connected on a deep level. Now that these two Jewish educational powerhouses joined forces recently, I can’t help but feel a little burst of joy.
Finding time to learn has become far more difficult in today’s fast-paced world, and finding a long-term study partner is even more difficult. Jewish education today as a whole has had to adapt to our shrinking attention spans and increasingly digital lives.
Tiktok Torah
Finding ways to create bite-sized nuggets of wisdom for consumption on TikTok and Instagram, that somehow makes ancient rabbinical teachings as binge-watchable as your favorite reality show, is very difficult work.I’ve been challenged with that task for a few years now at Aish, where I currently serve as the global spokesperson and chief communications officer.
This content format, aimed at quick hits leading to a TikTok rabbit hole, is an attempt to reach millions of Jews while they doomscroll on their phones at 12 a.m. and has been very effective in inspiring the beginning of many Jewish journeys.This tactic is very effective for building Jewish awareness and jump-starting Jewish journeys. In terms of life-changing impact, finding that long-term partner is key and offers a rewarding relationship that social media can never provide, no matter how entertaining and punchy the posts or reels are.
A real-life (even if virtually assisted) learning relationship demands responsibility, the mutual sharing of wisdom, and, if done right, can lead to a love for learning. It can also lead to a love for the time spent together away from all the external noise, and even a deep appreciation for one’s study partner.
It was not a fluke that Honi HaMe’agel exclaimed the words that have rung in our ears loudly throughout the generations: “Give me either a friend/study partner or give me death.”
Something magical
There is something almost magical that happens when learning becomes personal, reciprocal, and relationship-based, as opposed to when content is just consumed one way. Conversations (even debates and disagreements) in which you are an active participant make you work for your knowledge and fight for the relationship while forging a personal connection, both with the material and with your partner.
What emerges is a truly enriching learning experience. This is what reshapes information into transformation.
The joining of Aish and Partners in Torah represents something bigger than just the pursuit of knowledge and interpersonal connections. It is a recognition that Jewish learning works best as a continuum, from the quick inspiration that catches your attention on an Instagram reel, to the deep, sustained relationship with a study partner that helps you integrate wisdom into your daily life.
Think of it like the Sinai experience, followed up by the arduous study and joyful discovery that took place over the years in the desert as the Jews learned Torah for the first time from Moses and later Joshua.
This approach is especially meaningful for women, whose spiritual growth often takes a backseat to everything else. Between managing kids, careers, and carpools, our own spiritual development gets pushed to tomorrow’s to-do list, which, let’s face it, is already overflowing with yesterday’s unfinished tasks.
Finding time to attend physical classes is often nearly impossible when you’re already failing at balancing work meetings, family dinners, and the emotional labor of remembering everyone’s doctor appointments. I always say, unless you join the circus, nobody teaches you how to juggle. However, carving out 30 minutes for a Zoom learning session with a study partner is manageable and incredibly worthwhile.
I remember my own Partners in Torah experience, scheduling calls between diaper changes and deadlines, sometimes handling both simultaneously, because multitasking is the middle name of motherhood. Those study sessions became anchors in my chaotic week, little islands of meaningful connection that somehow made everything else make more sense.
What began as a structured learning session with another woman blossomed into something richer, part study group, part therapy, and part friendship forged through shared growth. One minute we were discussing a text from thousands of years ago, and the next, I found myself applying it to the argument with my teenager or the challenges I faced at work.
The lines between teacher and student blurred beautifully until it was no longer clear who was guiding whom. I found the experience incredibly uplifting and empowering, and many other women who have participated in these programs do as well.
This double-pronged approach of being exposed to Jewish wisdom followed by the opportunity to build a deep and meaningful connection through study was transformative for me. It allowed me to realize that my Judaism isn’t just transmitted from one generation to the next passively, but rather that it is lived vibrantly and that I could build a lasting and meaningful learning relationship with another person in a deep and profound manner.
I found that the real transformation took place through growing with another person, by connecting with them, understanding them, hearing their questions, and listening to their answers. That is what pushes each of us as individuals forward and reshapes our mutual learning relationship into one that builds a better life for both individuals.
Fragmented lives
In the modern world, where so many people are living fragmented, isolated lives, these learning partnerships create authentic connections rooted in something meaningful. Partnerships remind us that we were never meant to grow alone. As social media increasingly consumes our lives and AI becomes the source for information sharing, quick content and fleeting connections have become the new normal.
When finding deep connections becomes further out of reach, there’s something refreshing about slowing down long enough to learn deeply with another person. That style of relationship is something that has gone missing for many of us for far too long. It’s time we reclaim it.
After you have that relationship, should you choose to study and wrestle with ancient texts, you might discover they’re wrestling with us right back and are just as relevant to us today as they were thousands of years ago.
The writer is the chief communications officer and global spokesperson for Aish, following a distinguished career as an award-winning producer and marketing executive with HBO, CNN, and Food Network. She is the founder of Kosher Network International and a bestselling author.
