‘So says the Lord: A voice is heard on high, lamentation, bitter weeping, Rachel weeping for her children, she refuses to be comforted for her children for they are not. So says the Lord: Refrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for there is reward for your work, says the Lord, and they shall come back from the land of the enemy. And there is hope for your future, says the Lord, and the children shall return to their own border.’ – Jeremiah 31:14-16
Since the horrific Hamas attack on the South on October 7, 2023, “Many children, especially the younger ones, are suffering from emotional trauma,” educational psychologist and former longtime school principal Dr. Zipi Golan told The Jerusalem Post. Children “must be given tools with which to cope,” Golan said.
She advises parents to read stories to their children. Many books have been written and published since the outbreak of the war that can help children understand that they are not alone.
Living on a moshav near Ashkelon, Golan has not only been exposed to the intense stress of the Israel-Hamas War, up close, but also to continuous missile attacks from Hamas terrorists in the South for decades.
Golan launched a private counseling center in 2016 that now has three branches: at Moshav Ge’a where she lives, just a 10-minute drive from the Gaza border; in Yavneh; and in Rishon Lezion.
Today, she treats children and families affected by the war – and even children who have returned from captivity.
She explained that, due to the war, there are some children who refuse to leave their parents’ proximity, shower alone, or be in a closed room.
“I have been in the teaching profession for over 30 years and the cases I have encountered in this war have managed to surprise me,” she said. “Many children have been severely affected by the war, not only from the South but also from the center of the country, and we don’t know how long their situation will last,” she said.
Golan explained that the situation could be the cause of “serious effects on functioning later in life.”
“I think I have helped prevent kids from committing suicide – not by stopping before jumping out of a window but by allowing them to talk.
Parenting is a profession
The holder of a PhD in educational psychology, Golan has been a school principal in Ashkelon for over three decades, as well as also a member of the Education Ministry’s appeals committee to dealing with various problems and complaints about schools.
Even after she retired from teaching at schools, Golan said, she wanted “to continue to help kids and parents.”
“I felt there were weak points in schools, which are unable to help with everything. Parenting is a profession, so fathers and mothers need counseling, but many seek help only when the situation is very bad.”
In general, parents are put under a lot of pressure, she said. “They are busy trying to make ends meet as prices are very high. Women come home late after taking their young children home from after-school programs in which the teachers or child minders may not have have enough training.
Coaching and close contact
“Youngsters need to learn rules, boundaries, and values. If they abuse their smartphones during class or use them to cheat, they should be confiscated during classes. A child without boundaries is insecure,” Golan said
As a principal, she said, “I felt that coaching and being in close contact with the parents was very important. Once a year, there were visits to the homes of all the youngsters.”
She advises, “If a student gets a low grade on a test or an assignment, he or she must be encouraged.
At her centers, Golan meets with kindergarten children who are about to enter first grade. “I don’t teach numbers or letters but getting used to the different behaviors and rules in elementary school. It can be very scary to make this transition,” she said, comparing it to the move “from sixth grade in elementary school to junior high school.
She points out that there are teachers who aren’t suited to their jobs. “I don’t blame them but rather those who gave them their teaching degrees!”
An educator must his or her honor pupils, Golan believes. “If they don’t have an answer when a student asks, it isn’t shameful to say ‘I don’t know, but I will learn about it.” Thanks to Google and the Internet, many youngsters know more than their teachers.
Despite the current situation, Golan said she has faith in the younger generation and in the future of the State of Israel.
She described the country’s current youth as “an excellent generation.” ■
