(JTA) — BERLIN — Keren Kesselmann felt alone. Her male colleague in a Frankfurt Jewish communal institution had been making sexual advances, despite her rejections. One day the colleague cornered her in the workplace and forcibly tried to kiss her.
She ran to a female colleague. “’I can’t take this anymore,'” she said. “And then I told her what had happened, and she said, ‘Oh, you too?’”
Recalling the saga that unfolded two years ago, Kesselmann said, “And that’s how it came out.” Ultimately, after several women testified privately, the man was fired.
In some ways, the series of events played out exactly as advocates for swift and certain responses to sexual misconduct would have wanted. But Kesselman and others believed Frankfurt’s Jewish community could have done even better.
She shared her account with a local Jewish activist group called Or Tamid, Hebrew for eternal light, which was pressuring Frankfurt’s organized Jewish community to adopt policies to protect potential victims of abuse. Their advocacy dovetailed with strategizing that was already underway in the community.
The result: In December, the umbrella organization that governs Frankfurt’s Jewish institutions became the first in Germany to open a third-party reporting and counseling hotline for employees — 400 in all.
Local Jewish leaders say credit is deserved for the launch of the hotline, which a local law firm is operating.
“I think it’s great that the Jewish community was reacting,’” said Avichai Apel, one of Frankfurt’s two Orthodox rabbis, “and that we have such an organization like Or Tamid, who are open to hear, open to deal, and open to support people in such a situation.”
The new hotline is unusual if not unprecedented for local Jewish communities, said Rabbi Mary Zamore, who as the executive director of the Women’s Rabbinic Network, a Reform Jewish organization, has led a push for improved handling of sexual abuse allegations in that movement’s American institutions.
“Those who advocated and the leaders who have created an outside help center with outside third-party support have created a very powerful tool, one that should be studied by other communities,” Zamore said.
The new hotline is unique among Germany’s 103 organized Jewish communities, each known as a “Gemeinde.” But a national Jewish organization, the Central Welfare Board of Jews in Germany, or ZWST, is developing plans for an abuse reporting system that would start small but could serve a much broader constituency.
Preventing abuse before it starts
Laura Cazes, a spokesperson, said the plans will also include efforts to prevent abuse before it happens.
“It is obviously important that organizations and communities learn from it,” she said about abuse allegations. “Those things, if they’re not being dealt with, obviously at some point — they will cause a huge mess.”
The Frankfurt Jewish community board decided to open the center with outside help after handling cases like the one Kesselman brought on its own, according to director Jennifer Marställer.
It “was a heavy burden,” she said, both “for the people dealing with it [the abuse] and from the employer side.”
At the same time, several local Jews heard about the abuse allegations and were frustrated by what they believed was inaction and opacity by the community’s leaders.
“I am not normally a very activist person,” said Daniela Shemer, a community member whose children attend its schools. “I felt I cannot look away and wait for someone else to deal with this.”
Shemer, a professional musician, joined with attorney Haleli Shomer Shalom, who has dealt professionally with the topic of sexual harassment and abuse; fellow musician Roglit Ishay; and Niels Gerhardt — Ishay’s husband and the only non-Jewish member — to form Or Tamid. They met with community leaders to push an agenda of support for victims and zero tolerance for abusers.
“I demanded answers in a very harsh way,” said Shomer Shalom. “I wanted to understand what happened — as a mother, as a lawyer, as a person, as a human being, as a Jew, as any title you put on me. I did not accept this story to be covered up.”
Both Or Tamid’s leaders and representatives of the gemeinde acknowledge that relations between them were initially tense, as Or Tamid pressed for aggressive action.
“But we built it up, and we want to maintain this positive relationship,” said longtime board member and recently elected gemeinde co-chair Marc Grünbaum. “We listen, and it registers.”
A breakthrough came when Or Tamid held a community meeting where group members recounted incidents, including that of one woman who quit her role at the Jewish community after a colleague whom she reported for sexual harassment confessed but kept his job. The others remained anonymous, but Kesselman rose to identify herself after her story was shared.
“I was proud of her,” Apel said. “I know that it’s a very difficult thing for a person to stand up and to go public.”
The number of stories shared at the meeting convinced Elishewa Patterson, a local attorney and Jewish community member, that there was a real problem. “After I heard how many women came forward, I could accept the fact that this was actually true,” she said. She later advised the community on its legal obligations to employees.
Now, Marställer is grateful that Or Tamid held the community meeting and demanded an outside complaints office.
The entire experience of trying to handle these situations without outside help “was hard. It was really hard,” she said.
“I know we made mistakes with the communication and towards the employees after everything was solved,” she added. “That’s why it’s also good that there is somebody from the outside who can write a report and is not biased in any direction.”
With the new reporting center, employees can reach out anonymously and can get legal help and psychological counseling. The community will receive a report every three months on the number and type of calls coming in.
“We only get to know of any eventual problem if the person getting in touch with them wants to have the Jewish community know it,” Marställer said.
Victims alleging abuse are still coming to Or Tamid for help, said Shomer Shalom — but she said she hopes that will change soon. “We’re hoping that this new office will gain the community members’ trust, and that Or Tamid won’t be needed,” she said.
Seeking outside, neutral help is essential, Zamore said. “All of our Jewish communities, no matter where in the world, are very inbred, intertwined communities. Under normal circumstances, that is one of our great strengths,” she said. “But in the case of holding members of our communities accountable for creating great harm, it is a great stumbling block.”
For Kesselmann, the reporting center comes too late to address the abuse she faced. But now that there is one, she has advice for her fellow Frankfurters.
“Don’t wait” to seek help, she said. “I waited far too long. I was afraid that it would affect my work. Yes, I was really afraid. … I didn’t know who I could talk to about it. I couldn’t talk about it at home. I couldn’t talk about it at work. It’s better to go there sooner, and talk openly.”
