Today’s cyberspace world never ceases to amaze me.
We can surf online to read newspapers, articles, and books, watch movies and view sports, join social networking websites like Facebook and dating apps, hunt and apply for jobs, plan our vacations, and stay in touch with the world.
Since the COVID pandemic, videoconferencing has changed the way we learn, and how we conduct business and fulfill our job responsibilities. Even after COVID, most employees are encouraged to work a few days at home, connecting via the Internet. More than half of all psychotherapy sessions held around the world today are conducted on online platforms for counseling.
More recently, artificial intelligence has made its debut. The rapid speed of an AI application in assisting with almost anything is both exciting and hard to believe. I can’t get over the wide range of knowledge, warp speed in generating data, and seemingly empathetic and humanistic responses.
Are these devices potentially addictive?
When people use their smartphones and other tech devices, the same neurochemicals that are transmitted when taking drugs like cocaine, drinking alcohol, gambling, consuming food, and/or having sex are released in the brain – making these devices very addicting.
In fact, about 5% to 10% of Internet users may be at risk of some form of online addiction. That’s millions of people worldwide.
In an age where our smartphones, laptops, and personal computers have become extensions of ourselves, the allure of online connections has never been stronger, blurring the line between reality and the digital world.
Should we be concerned?
Linda, a 23-year-old marketing student, finds herself constantly refreshing her dating app notifications and is obsessed with her personal details that she puts on the app. Her university grades are dropping.
Yossi, 32, is engaged to Dina and has a very responsible job in sales. But every day, he spends hours and hours viewing porn sites. His relationship is at risk of falling apart.
Paul, 35, is a successful businessman, married, with three kids, but can’t stop his online gambling and trading his personal stocks. It is costing him a bundle of money and may be threatening his work, his career, and his marriage.
Ben, a 24-year-old university student, can’t stay focused on his lectures and studies, as he is obsessed with surfing the Internet and viewing social media sites.
These scenarios are not uncommon in today’s hyper-connected world.
Let’s define this more closely. Neurolaunch.com notes: “At its core, cyber relationship addiction refers to an unhealthy preoccupation with online relationships that interfere with daily life, work, and offline relationships.
“It’s not just about spending too much time online; it’s about the compulsive need for digital interactions that can lead to neglect real-world responsibilities and connections.”
What are some of the risk factors for a cyber relationship addiction?
The literature has identified several risk factors.
- Social isolation and loneliness: The cyber world can provide connections that are stimulating and, at the same time, compensate for loneliness. Unfortunately, the problem of feeling alone can’t be solved by the Internet world. Many of these individuals do, in fact, lack social interaction skills. Some suffer from social phobia and become very anxious around people.
- Low self-esteem, insecurity, and escapism: One man I treated suffered from low self-esteem. He decided to go online and join a community site of people from different parts of the world. The client in his “real” life lived a religiously Orthodox lifestyle. He was married, with children. His self-esteem was very low, and he suffered from severe insecurity about himself and his life. After his wife and kids went to bed, he would open his computer and escape to an alternate universe online. He changed his clothing, took off his kippah, put on a small cap, gave himself a new name and made-up identity. He found a site that was exciting to him, and he became addicted to it. One day his wife discovered his nighttime secret and threatened to divorce him unless he got help. That’s when he sought my advice.
- Pre-existing mental health conditions: Individuals dealing with depression, anxiety, and/or social phobia may be more susceptible to cyber relationship addiction.
- Social influence: The largest cohort of social media and cyberspace users are people between ages 18 to 35. Younger people see their peers interacting with smartphones and other devices regularly, enhancing their preference to be like their friends. TikTok, popular among the younger generation, for example, generates one billion views daily.
- Role of technology: The endless scrolling, push notifications, and algorithms that are personally designed and aimed to get the user to become addicted have become a powerful factor in our online relationship with the cyber world.
THERE ARE many unanswered questions about the impact social media and cyberspace is having on our lives. Like anything new that has developed in the course of history, changes in society and human behavior and preferences are sure to take place.
Computer technology, the world of cyberspace, and social media are remarkable developments. AI is showing us that the development is happening rapidly and, as a result, people are changing.
Although the Internet is not inherently harmful, the key lies in how it is used and the impact it has on one’s life.
The writer is a cognitive behavioral adult and couples psychotherapist, with a sub-specialty in treating anxiety, adjustment, and depressive disorders. He sees clients in Ra’anana and Jerusalem. [email protected]; www.facebook.com/drmikegropper
